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Adult Jokes SMS, Dirty SMS Jokes & dirty

 

New Non Veg Sms Masala

SMS this category may not be suitable for all ages. This category contains adult sms, non veg sms jokes, sms jokes, dirty SMS, dirty text messages, etc. This collection of SMS messages and jokes for adults input from our users. Please indicate if any of the SMS or adults dirty jokes are too vulgar. This collection of funny adult text messages for use by adults.

» Kuch lady deti hain non veg sms,
Kuch  lady khadi ho kar deti hain,
Kuch  jhuk kar deti hain,
Aur kuch to baith kar  deti hain,
Kitna mushkil kaam hai
JHAAROO  karana  

» Sardar ji sex non veg sms

Sardar ji  sex  kar rahe the.
Ghalti se peeche daal diya
patni   boli:  O ji truck galat godam me ja raha hai
Sardar:  :  O ji  ab bata rahi ho
jab diesel  khatam  hogaya

» Paise se tang akar non veg sms

Paise  se  tang akar husband bola :
Lagta hai ab to dono hath phelanay paren ge
Wife : jaldi karo nai to mujhe dono tangen phelani paren gi

» Husband Wife non veg sms

Husband  : wife   se kahata  hai  sex  karane ke baad  gullak  me  paise dalenge.
Kuchh din baad  husband  wife   se kahata  hai  gullak kholte hai
Husband  : maine   50  ke note   dale thhe yeh  500/ kahaan se aaye ?
Wife :   har  koi  tumhari   tarah 50  ki note  thodi hi  dalata   hai

1 :- Aao baccho tumhe dikhaye ladki 16 saal ki. Chuchi uski moti- moti choot bade kmal ki. Ek haath me tel ki sisi ek haath me loda tha. Dekhne wale dekh rhe the kitna lmba choda tha. Jaliyan wala baag dekho jaha chudi thi soniya. Gandhi ji jab chod rhe the anrejo ne chladi goliya .*some text missing*

2 :- Naughty boy draws a penis on the black board. Lady teacher rubs it off. Next day he draws a bigger one & writes: 'jitna ragdogi utna bada hoga...'

3 :- Science Techr:
GIRLS Can U Tell Me Wer Is Ur Heart Exactly?
All GIRLS Shouted Loudly
Hamara Dil To
"ARUN" K Paas He Mam!
Silly GIRLS!

4 :- ZAMRAN:
(1/4)Height of trend?
Dhoti wit zip.
Height of secrecy?
Blank visiting card.
Height of laziness?
Adopt a kid just after marriage

5 :- Ek Ladka Apne Papa di marrig video dekhde hoy
Papa Mainu B Apni Shadi Pe item girls Nachani Hain Aap Ki Shadi Ki Tarha
Papa:Kute De Putra O Teri Bua hai.

6 :- Government Hospital ke Doctor aur Marij me kya similarity hai...?
Doctor Nurse pe
aur
Marij Farsh pe
marta hai..!

7 :- 1 Bakri thi diwani si 1 Bakre pe wo marti ti shrmake punch hilake galiyo se gujrti ti jab b milti thi photo tumhara de kr pucha karti thi-ye BAKRA kaha milega?

8 :- GirlFriend Is Like PaniPuri, Always Testy.
Lover Is Like Pizza, Hot n Spicy.
Wife Is Like Dal-Chawal, No Other Option But Good 4 Health..!!

9 :- Which Is The Most Confusing Day In America?
*
*
FATHERs DAY !
Nobody Knows Whom To Wish.

10 :- 2 nanhay sardaro me se ek ko khelte hue ek "condom" mila.
wo bola-dhek mujhe ek bada sa gubaara mila.
dusra sardar bola-ye to mere papa ki loli ka moja hai.

11 :- Land tum badhe chalo. Choot me ghuse chalo
Samne darar ho,
Gand ka pahad ho.
Land tum ruko nahi,
Land tum jhuko nahi.
Chut charmara uthe,
Jhant kasmasa uthe.
Agni sa dhadak dhadak,
Chut me sarak-sarak. Jab tak chut phate nahe,tab tak land hate nhi. Chut ko tu phad de, uske ander jhaad de. Land tum mahan ho, sarv shaktimaan ho. .

12 :- Aap to CHOTE DON ho, Aap Ke Lund Ke Khade hone Ka intezaar to 11 Ladkion Ki Choot Kar Rahi hai, Magar Aap Ke Land Ka Khada hona Mushkil hi Nahi Namumkin hai.

13 :- LOGO SE PANGE BHI HONGE GHAR ME DANGE BHI HONGE AGAR MUJHE 5 SMS NA KIE TO,AAPKE 12 BACHE HONGE 2 GANJEY 2 NANGE OR 8 LAFANGE HONGE,WA WA WA....Jaldi karo.

14 :- I bought 2 dogs named 'ASS' & 'FACE'..!! I kept ASS with me & gifted FACE 2 u. Once FACE died, i felt so sad becoz...wenever i see my ASS i remember ur FACE.

15 :- Boy said 2 girl: "aa mere dil me aaja"
Girl replies: "chappal utaru kya?"
boy :chal pagli! ye koi mandir thode hi hai, aise hi aaja

16 :- Dosto aj hum 1 ajibo-garib prani k bare mein padenge....
Is jantu ka naam hai GIRLFRIEND
Ji haan !
GIRLFRIEND
Ye aksar boyfriend k saath payi jati hai
Inka poshtik ahar boyfriend ka BHEJA & WALLET hota hai
Inhe aksar naraz hone ka NAATAK karte dekha jata hai
Is prani ka sabse khatarnak hathiyar RONA

17-Galib sahab par ek ladki ne peshab kar diya .
Galib :aye chanchal shokh hassena ye kaisi nadani hai?
Grl:Aap jis jheel se nikle hain,ye usi jheel ka pani h

18 :- A VERY FUNNY QUOTE :
"Come like a Horse,
Sit like a Thief, and,
Go like a King..!!!"-
This slogan was written on a ...
TOILET DOOR ;-)

19 :- santa ne hospital me pahli bar surgical glufs dekha. Aur kafi der tak dekhne ke bad khta h"lag to CONDOOM hi rha h lekin shayad DROPADI ke jamane ka hai"

20 :- Grl: Papa, bhaiya ne aapko gaali di, BETICHOD. Fathr: Aane de saale ko uski behen chod dungaa. Grl: Chalo papa rehne do, dono taraf se chudai to meri hi hogi.Gn

21 :- A girl goes 2 doctor n says-Doctor mere niche 1 ched aur kar do.
Doctor asked: why?
Girl : business aacha chal raha hai soch rahi hu ek branch aur khol loon.

22 :- Sania Mirza started playing at the age of 6.. After that..
Everything in her life changed..
Except the SIZE of her skirt...!!

23 :- College Girl to chatwala,
outside college:- "bhaiya meri chat?"
Chatwala- bas 2 min.
Girl- bhaiya jaldi... meri chattt..
varna
period
shuru ho jayega.

24 :- Biwiya apne pati ko "A G" q bolti hai?qunki biwiya sabhya hoti hain or kisi k samne "Abe Gadhe" kehna sabhyata nahi hoti, isliye short me (AG)bolti hai. !

25 :- Sham diyo se sajaye bethe hai,khushbu badan pe lagaye bethe hai,Hamari diwangi to dekho yaro,unko rat ko aana hai aur hum SUBAH se hi CONDOM lagaye baithe hai.

26 :- LadyTeacher: write a sentence ending with hand.
Banta: My penis in ur hand. Teacher slapped Banta.
Santa: Sorry mam, I 4got 2 put space betwn PEN IS.

27 :- Amritsar ke pagalkhane me doctor ne ek mareez ka checkup karke kaha aap mansik roop se theek lag rahe hain phir yaha kyo he? Patient bola doctor me theek hoon par baat yeh hai ki kuch time pehle mene ek vidhva se shaadi ki uski ek jawan beti thi or mere pitaji ne us se shaadi kar li or phir meri patni mere pitaji ki saas ban gayi kuch time baad mere pitaji ke ghar beti paida hui or woh meri soteli behen ban gayi or us ke elava woh meri navasi bhi thi kyun ki mein uski nani ka pati tha ab mere ghar beta hua ek taraf meri soteli maa mere bete ki behen lagti thi kyun ki woh uski maa ka beta tha or dusri taraf woh uski dadi lagti thi is tereh mera beta apni dadi ka bhai ban gaya aap sochenge mere pitaji mere damad aur mein unka sasur or meri soteli maa mere bete ki behen yani mera beta mera mama aur mein apne bete ka bhanja.. Doctor cheekh kar bola bhagwan ke liye chup ho jaayo warna mein paagal ho jaunga..

28 :- Sardar:Will U Marry me? Girl:Sorry I'm a Lesbian. Sardar:"Whats Lesbian?" Girl:"I have Sex only with Girls". Sardar:"Maar Taali I'm also Lesbian" Sing is King?

29 :- Kaun si devi aise hai jiska prasad bhut fmous hai
socho?
Dimag lagao....
Are yaar,
Rabry Devi ke
Lalu Prasad.

30 :- Suhag Raat pe dulhe ne dulhan ki ankh ko chuma
Dulhan - ye kya
Dulha - Ankh Zindgi ki kitab hai
Dulhan - Niche library me aag lagi hae, tu kitaab me ghusa hai .

31 :- Boy Ladki k Saamne Pant utarkar bola-
kya tumhare paas aisa hai?
"
"
Girl Salwar utarkar boli-
jinke paas aisi hoti hai unke paas inki koi kami nahi hoti.

32 :-Hindi k teachr ne medical store par sharmate huye Condom manga.
"Shrimanji ek sugandit Virya Rodak Tel Yukt Prajanan Virodi kavach de dijiye

33 :- Gabbar- yeb fuddi muje dede Basanti
Basanti:- bhenchodea Gabbra, jado da mainu chuk k liyaya hai hun tak ta do vari le lenda, eve nacha-2 k bund laini krti."

34 :- Kiss is a key of love, love is a lock of marriage.
marriage is a box of children.
The children are future of India. So don't stop of kissing.

35 :- ittle Boy: Dad How wAs I Born? Dad: Well, Son Ur Mom & I Got Together at "Yahoo". We Set up A Date Via E-Mail & Met In Cyber Cafe Ur Mom Agreed To "Download..... Data" From My "Pen Drive". Just When I Was About to "Transfer", We Realised That Non Of Us Had "Installed" A "Firewall"
It Was Too Late To hit "Delete........ Nine Months Later A "Pop-up Window" Appeared Saying"You Have Got A Male" ........

36 :- Father & son went to medical store.
Father buy a pack of Condoms.
Son- whats this
Father- its medicine for killing rats.
Son- Oh bhenchod.! Chut me bhi chuhe!

37 :- BOY- bus train aur ladki ek aati hai to dusri jati hai.
GIRL- auto riksha or ladka ek bulao char- 2 chale aate hain.

38 :- Yeh Sangmarmar sa tarasha Gora Badan,
Boond-Boond Pighalta Shabaab,
Hoto se Lagake Dekho Kashish kaisi hai..
kambakhat ye
"ICE-CREAM" Cheez hi aisi hai...

39 :- Pehle neend aati hai fir khaab aata hai, khaab me ek sunder LADKI aati hai, uske pichhe uska baap aata hai.......PHIR NA NEEND AATI HAI NA KHAAB AATA HAI.

40 :- Dad:BETA sasuralwale ghadi de to SUIT mang lena!
Scoter de to CAR,Dukan de to MAKAN manglena.
Beta-
agar LADKI
de
to
uski
MAA manglu?

41 :- 1 ladki ko lagi thand usne nikala plastic ka land,
Use lagaya thook me.
phir dala apni chut me. shuru ho gai chudai
15 din pahle aapko "NEW YEAR" ki badahii..

42 :- Bakri Ki Jan Talwar Ke Niche, Ladki Ki Jan Salwar Ke Niche, Jo Chali Jaye Mat Bhago Uske Piche, Pyar Karo Usi Se Jo Salwar Khole Khusi Se! Best Of Luck.

43 :- Ek din aapki life me ek ladki aayegi jo aapko bhuat pyaar karegi aapko pyaar se tauch karegi or aapko dher sari kiss kiya karegi or kahegi I LOVE YOU PAPA.

44-Plz solve my problem
* LADKI KA SASUR LADKE KE SASUR KA BAAP HI LADKI AUR LADKE ME SAMBANDH BATAO ? Plz reply fast ur I Q TEST.

45 :- OSCAR Nomination 4 Best BlueFilms
1)Hasina ki Gand me Pasina.
2)Ghar me Sali to Puri Rat Diwali.
3)Fad k Panty Chodne de Aunty.
4)Pati Fauj me Biwi MAUJ Me

46-Lady in bus: aapka kuchh touch ho raha hai.
Man: Oh, wo meri salary hai pocket mein.
Lady: SAALE HARAAMI! TERI SALARY 5 MINUTES MEIN 3 GUNA BADH GAYEE?!?

47 :- POEM
PAHALE JATI NA THI KEEL CHOOT MAI.
AB CHUDTO CHUDTO BAN GAYI JHEEL CHOOT MAI.
EK DIN NAHANE AAYA EK BHEEL CHOOT MAI.
NAHATE NAHATE BAHA GAYA SHAKRO MEEL CHOOT MAI.
JASE HI POLICE NE DEKHI DHEEL CHOOT MAI.
TRUNT LAGADI SHEEL CHOOT MAI.
¤ JAI HIND JAI BHARAT ¤

48 :- "National Song " Aao baccho tumhe dikhaye ladki 16 saal ki. Chuchi uski moti- moti choot bade kmal ki. Ek haath me tel ki sisi ek haath me loda tha. Dek

49 :- Ladki ko lagi thand, ladke ne nikal liya lund, lund ko bhigoya thuk me, dal diya uski chut me, fir shuri ki chudai, sardi ki aapko hardik badhai. HAPPY THAND..

50-Ek bar ek ladka ek callgirl ko apne uper betha kar sex kar raha tha
boy- tum ek din me kitna kamati ho
girl- yahi koi 500 rupey
boy- tum jhoot bol rahi ho
girl- rozi par bathe hu jhoot nahi bolungi

51 :- Nari ke chakkr me bhullo mat yari........ Laat maregi narri to yaadayegi hamari yaari' batt mano hamari ban jao brabmchari.ye jankari janhit me jarri.,

52 :- DOSTANA SPECIAL:
What will Two Gay Men Tell Each Other When They See A Very Beautiful & Pretty Girl...?
..
YAAR, LADKI AISI HAI TO "ISKA BHAI KAISA HOGA "

53 :- Ek bar girls hostel me ladkiya cycle chalate hue bahut shor macha rahi thi,Tabhi WARDEN ayi aur boli "shor kam machao nahi to cycle ki seat wapis lagwa Dungi.

54 :- Chali gai Dewali aa gai Thund sukad gai choote akad gye land. "HAPPY- THUND" Ayegi holi chali jayegi thund fail jayegi choote latak jayege land. "happy-thund"

55 :- Girl ………… Suno ! are you sure you love me n no one else
Boy ……….. Did sure ! i checked the whole list again
yesterday ..

56 :- Wife : Tum bahar jaatey ho to hamesha darr laga rehta hai.
Husband : Oh do not worry jaan jaldi aa jaoonga.
Tumhari issi baat ka to darr laga rehta hai ….


 
 
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